November 17, 2017, 06:43:10 PM

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The pumpkin president sat in his golden elevator, looking at the rest of the abbsndoned tower he owned. Abbandoned.... well except for the piles and piles of hatemail. The ex president sat so still that if anyone had been watching for the past hour, they would have thought hed either turned to stone, or passed away. Without any warning though, the ex president stood up.


The old man gathered his trophies and gold into a big old suitcase, and was just about to walk out the door when he smelled smoke. A girl with a chubby body and bright red hair stood before him. Oh god, he thought to himself, the sjws are here.....

Later that night he died screaming.
Comstar News Network

Mischa Karmoulitis, Political Analyst, Outworlds Foundation: Good evening from the Comstar studios and all praise to Blake! We have brought you ongoing coverage of the impeachment proceedings in the Outworlds Alliance over the past few days but now even more shocking news has been released. In a speech before the OWA Parliament just moments ago, President of the Parliament Naterist has announced that he is resigning.

Broadcast from Alpheratz:

This is the 37th time I have spoken to you from this office, where so many decisions have been made that shape the history of this great, great nation. In all the decisions I have made in my public life I have always tried to do what was best for the Outworlds Alliance.

Throughout the long and difficult period of this media-created fake news witch hunt, I have felt it was my duty to persevere -- to make every possible effort to continue the term of office to which our great citizens elected me and to keep working to make the OWA great again. In the past few days, however, it has become evident to me that I no longer have a strong enough political base in the Parliament to justify continuing that effort. Boys will be boys and men will be men. I do not feel that I have done anything that I shouldn’t have while serving our great people. Hard-working men play hard too and for any of you and the treacherous fake-news media to think you can slap me on the wrist and make me behave like you are my boss well I have one thing to say to you. You’re WRONG. WRONG.

I think everyone here knows that I am extremely well-off. To be blunt, I am rich and successful. If I want girls, I get girls. This young lady, Ashley, whom you have brought in here and talked into saying all these bad things about me, just take a look at this girl. Just look at these holopics my media guy is displaying. She’s cute. She has great hair, a great rack, a great ass.

But guess what, I don’t have to be President of the Parliament to get girls that like. I can have 10 of the most premium young hotties lined up in my office at any time. Any time! I’m rich, I have great hair, I am famous and obviously I do very well with the ladies.

To leave office before my term is completed is abhorrent to every instinct in my body. But as President, I must put the interests of Outworlds Alliance first.

The Outworlds Alliance needs a full-time President and a full-time Parliament, particularly at this time with problems we face at home and abroad. To continue to fight through the months ahead for my personal vindication would almost totally absorb the time and attention of both the President and the Parliament in a period when our entire focus should be on the great issues of peace abroad, prosperity at home and making the Outworlds Alliance great again.

You think you can have some impeachment proceeding here and take a vote and bang a gavel and fire ME? WRONG!

You can’t fire me because I quit first! You’re the ones that are fired, I’m out! I shall resign the Presidency of the Parliament effective at noon tomorrow and get back to being rich and successful and hooking up with the most beautiful women in the universe, floating down an artificial river filled with premium liquor in a gold barge loaded with hot call-girls and the finest coke in the entire Inner Sphere while my beautiful model wife willingly steers the whole thing and keeps an eye on the kids to keep them out of the nose-candy.

Good luck finding someone with the savvy, the brains, the genius ideas, the extremely big IQ, large hands and amazing taste in decorating and women to pick up where I left off.
Comstar News Network


Mischa Karmoulitis, Political Analyst, Outworlds Foundation: Good morning! We have breaking news on events in the Outworlds Alliance. Reports now confirm that a special session of the Outworlds Alliance Parliament has been convened to debate impeachment proceedings against President of the Parliament Naterist!

Mischa Karmoulitis, Political Analyst, Outworlds Foundation: The President's remaining allies in Parliament have lined up a series of declarations which most analysts expect to be used as filibusters. They hope to stretch these declaratory speeches out so long that they fill up all of the time allotted for the special session, thereby derailing the impeachment. It remains to be seen if this tactic will stand up against what appears to be a solid majority of Parliament Members who wish to hear the accusations against President Naterist in detail, including testimony from a young woman who claims that the President snorted cocaine from her "rear" while discussing military planning with top officials. The picture on-screen is a photo of this young lady that we found on an extranet site offering high-priced call girls on Alpheratz.

"Ashley A." a nineteen year-old professional escort
who claims to have worked for the President

Mischa Karmoulitis, Political Analyst, Outworlds Foundation: Stay tuned for more updates throughout the day and glory to Blake!
BattleTech/Mechwarrior Role-Play / Eridani Light Horse - Closing a Chapter
« Last post by Xannatharr on November 14, 2017, 02:14:11 PM »
Nadir Jumpoint, Tikonov System

GDH Crash pressed his face against the small round porthole of the commercial dropship, looking back at the Outworlds Alliance JumpShips docked at the Tikonov Charging Station. Soon the OWA ships would be finished charging and would jump to the next Fed Suns Charging Station on their long journey back to Alpheratz.

Crash had been in the room when Puggs Hunter, the senior OWA official deployed with the small flotilla received the recall order from Alliance Military High Command. All Outworlds Alliance forces in Federated Suns and Capellan space were ordered to suspend offensive operations and return home as quickly as possible. Puggs didn't explain exactly what was going on, but it was clear that some sort of political change had occurred.

There was a quiet going-away party in the wardroom of the command dropship that involved a lot of drinking, handshaking and a few heartfelt hugs from the RSOR and G_NOX mechwarriors that Crash had gotten to know so well. Finally, the flotilla had arrived at Tikonov and Crash transferred to a commercial ship that would deliver him to the next Eridani Light Horse JumpShip to pass through the system.

Shaking his head sadly, Crash pulled out his mincomp and began typing up his last report to Command.


To Commander, ELH
From OWA Liaison Officer, GDH Crash
Operational Report: Outworlds Alliance Operations terminated

Digest: Under orders from civilian authorities, OWA forces are departing from all operational sectors.

All RSOR and G_NOX personnel are headed back to Alpheratz as quickly as is practical. Liason Officer has been released from duty and will await pickup at Tikonov.

Final report concluded.

Comstar News Network

Mischa Karmoulitis, Political Analyst, Outworlds Foundation: Hello and welcome to a special report from Comstar News Network. With interstellar news being so active today I have been asked to stand in for Brother Augustus Grim, Lead Anchor. I trust that the Wisdom of Blake will guide me as I bring you this report.

Mischa Karmoulitis, Political Analyst, Outworlds Foundation: Chaos reigns on Alpheratz tonight as allegations of misconduct against the President of Parliament are brought to light. Several Advisors who were recently fired by the President have come forth with claims that the President has been on a drug-fueled binge with Capellan prostitutes ever since he took office. There are reports that a special session of Parliament is being convened and rumors abound that an Impeachment might be in the air. The President's allies in the Parliament are trying to stop the proceedings but are facing heavy opposition even within their own party.

Mischa Karmoulitis, Political Analyst, Outworlds Foundation: When we asked the President's Press Secretary for a response to these allegations, his prepared statement was interrupted by the President himself, who came to the podium and seized the microphone.

Mischa Karmoulitis, Political Analyst, Outworlds Foundation: What the President said was very difficult to understand, but we hope to have a full translation and recording of the speech to share with you later tonight.

Until then, thanks for watching Comstar News!

Comstar News Network

Brother Augustus Grim, Lead Anchor: In the interest of sharing and preserving knowledge as taught by Holy Blake, we bring you a special report on a little-reported conflict between two states who were formerly partners in the Trinity Alliance - the Capellan Confederation and the Taurian Concordat. The third member of the Trinity Alliance, the Magistracy of Canopus, has not formally repudiated the treaty but has also not taken sides in the fighting. Here to shed light on these events are two of our most respected experts, Retired Comguard General Anders Storn and Aiko Suzue, Visiting Scholar of Interstellar Relations at Trinity University of Tharkad.

General Anders Storn (retired), Comguard            Aiko Suzue, Trinity University of Tharkad

General Anders Storn (retired), Comguard: Thank you for having me on Brother Grim and all due praise to Blake. Miss Suzue would you like to share what we were discussing before the program?

Aiko Suzue, Trinity University of Tharkad: Yes, thank you General Storn and thank you as well Brother Grim! What we were discussing is that while we have all seen the many headlines about the Draconis Combine retaking Alshain, heavy fighting along the Cappellan-FedSuns border, battles in the Chaos March and of course JarnFolk and mercenary engagements all over the Inner Spehere we have heard next to nothing about possibly the most brutal military campaign in human space. I am referring to the recent eruption of all-out War between the Capellan Confederation and the Taurian Concordat.

General Anders Storn (retired), Comguard: That's right Miss Suzue. Reports indicate that some of the most bitter fighting seen since the Fourth Succession War has broken out between House Liao and the Taurians. Since September there has been no less than nine major battles between the these factions, including no less than three major Sector Assaults. Casualties in first-line Battlemechs are already estimated at over 150 machines on each side and could be even higher. Although we have not heard reports of any intentional atrocities, the lives of citizens on both sides of the border in the Zanzibar, Menke, Borden, Pinard and Victoria Sectors have certainly suffered major disruptions.

As you can see on the map the Capellans, shown in green, have launched raids and major assaults on Concordat space. Meanwhile the Taurian Concordat forces, shown in red, have fought back hard and launched their own large-scale invasion into the Capellan's Zanzibar Sector. The fighting there continues right now and early reports indicates that the sides are deadlocked in desperate battles.

Brother Augustus Grim, Lead Anchor: It was only a few years ago that Sun-Tzu Liao of the CapCon, Protector Jeffrey Calderon of the Taurian Concordat and Magestrix Emma Centrella of the MoC agreed to form the Trinity Alliance. And for centuries the Taurians have warred with the Federated Suns but now they seem to have cast aside the Trinity Alliance and there are even reports that they have entered into serious negotiations for a partnership  with House Davion. How could the Capellans and Taurians go from firm allies to full-scale war so quickly?

Aiko Suzue, Trinity University of Tharkad: Brother Grim, there is a good reason for this sudden reversal in the Taurian's relationship with House Liao. Sources inside the Taurian Concordat indicate that House Liao was behind last year's terrorist attack on Detroit that resulted in the death of Protector Jeffrey Calderon. In the chaos following the Protector's death, Grover Shraplen took over leadership of the Concordat.  But just months ago Marshal Cham Kithrong and the Taurian Defense Forces deposed Shraplen and published what they believe is proof that he was an agent of the Capellan Confederation. For now the TDF is firmly in charge of the Taurian Concordat and all reports indicate that the citizens of the Concordat support Marshal Kithrong and wish to see House Liao punished for their interference in Taurian affairs. 

Jeffrey Calderon, Protector of the Taurian Concordat 3055-3061

Brother Augustus Grim, Lead Anchor: That certainly explains the sudden reversal of Taurian-Capellan relations and provides some context into why the fighting between these two powers has been so intense. General Storn, do you believe that the Taurians stand a chance against the Capellan Confederation?

General Anders Storn (retired), Comguard: Time will tell, but so far by all accounts the Taurians have been inflicting just as much punishment on the CCAF as they the Capellans have inflicted on the TDF. And with the Capellan Confederation locked in a series of battles with the Federated Suns around Tikonov, it may be that they cannot spare enough of their strength to deal with the Taurians.

Brother Augustus Grim, Lead Anchor: As always, I would to thank our esteemed guests for their commentary. Now, we will share a recent interview granted by a spokesman for the the Taurian Defense Forces, Marshal Igor Kozyrev:

Question from the Editors: Some of our viewers may not understand the events that led to your war with the Capellans. Can you explain?

Marshal Igor Kozyrev: The comprehensive answer to that question has been given in this press release:,1358.0.html 

But to quickly summarize, we discovered that House Liao was behind death of our leader and planted a puppet leader to use our resources for their benefit. We discovered it in time and turned against the treacherous bastards.

Question from the Editors: Did you decide to abandon the Trinity Alliance with the Capellans and MoC?

Marshal Igor Kozyrev: We have no ill will towards the MoC's current standings with CapCon, but we obviously made a 180 turn with House Liao. More to that, we've decided to put aside age long turmoil with FedSuns to be able to act against CapCon without need to worry about our flanks. Enemy of my enemy and such…

Question from the Editors:What have been the most critical battles of your war with the CapCon so far?

Marshal Igor Kozyrev:Critical battles are yet to be fought. First few engagements were prepared in haste and thus turned out surprisingly difficult, but we adapted quickly and now make steady progress. I'm not allowed to say that, but with the help of "allies" (and I'm not saying whose allies they are - UPTO's or Iron Oath's), we are now in possesion of extremely valuable information and we have a clear plan of actions which doesn't leave Liao any chance of winning. They might not understand that yet, but soon they will.

Brother Augustus Grim, Lead Anchor: Many thanks to Marshal Kozyrev for agreeing to an interview. Our requests to the Capellan Confederation for a similar interview have not yet been fulfilled. In the Name of Blake, good night.

Augustus Grim, Comstar News Network Lead Anchor: Greetings in the Holy Name of Blake. Comstar News Network has not received any reports which corroborate this so-called "Story". Further, our technical experts have released a report indicating that it is extremely unlikely that JarnFolk pilots would have made such a gross error in their course computations. A copy is provided below.


To: Precentor MU, Clive Reordan
Re: Astrogational analysis of JarnFolk Maneuvers near G-10186 Helsen (aka Devil's Eye)

In the Name of Blake - Astrogational and Intra-System Navigation Department Heads convened a meeting in which the series of simulations assigned to their departments were discussed. Without providing a detailed account of the meeting, I can summarise the discussions and in the Spirit of Blake the revered Precentor may find enlightenment.

In short, both the Intra-System Navigation and Astrogation Department Heads conclude that it is highly unlikely that any JarnFolk ships were lost in the gravitational field of Black Hole G-10186 Helsen, hereafter referred to as Devil's Eye. Below is an inventory of Facts established and agreed upon in the meeting.

Fact: JarnFolk pilots and navigators are regarded as being highly-skilled on average; they are capable of designing and executing high-risk trajectories when needed, especially in a military engagement, but the circumstances in the Cartago System do not seem to provide a basis for the entire JarnFolk Expeditionary Force to select a trajectory that would take them dangerously close to Devil's Eye.

Fact: Had a significant number of JarnFolk Jumpships and Dropships been pulled into the event horizon of Devil's Eye, systems at the HPG station on Cartago Prime would have detected related gravitic disturbances; indeed software at a major HPG station regularly monitors for and corrects for these disturbances as they can create packet loss and reduction in bandwidth if not accounted for. System logs do not show any significant gravity wave compensation adjustments processed during the period immediately following the disappearance of the JarnFolk ships.

Fact: In the history of modern star travel there are only two recorded instances of ships being lost to a Black Hole; in one of the cases the loss was the result of an emergency K-F jump that was made by a merchant ship fleeing pirates. In the other case a SLDF warship engaged in a fleet action near a Black Hole lost it's capacity to maneuver due to battle damage, was captured by tidal forces and eventually pulled in. Neither of these scenarios bear any resemblance to the conditions in the Cartago System when the JarnFolk fleet was lost to sensors.

End Report         

BattleTech/Mechwarrior Role-Play / Re: The Pirate's Haven Treaties
« Last post by Aylward on November 12, 2017, 05:38:22 PM »
November 12, 3062
FSJS Leviathan II
Cartago sector, Draconis March

He stared at the speaker as the last of the relayed message echoed thru the small space of his quarters.. Was this a joke or were the Taurians seriously proposing peace on that border and opening commerce with them as normal neighbors ?? After all the years of conflict there.. it seemed unreal. Everyone knew they were heavily involved with an extended campaign with the capellans and casualties were mounting on both sides, but few hoped to dare the concordat would put aside their own feud with the Fedsuns to face this common foe..

He punched the intercom button.."Sergeant, did we confirm this message ??".. "Yes sir, Capt. Jugger was on the bridge of the Invader they sent the message to. He confirmed speaking with the Taurians directly and the ship's credentials. "

He released the intercom and sat back.. Very interesting. With hostilities between the capellans and assorted pirates they were allied with working against us on several other borders and now the sudden appearance of the Draconis combine in the Ozawa sector, it sure would be nice to have one less front to worry about reinforcing for a change.

Pressing the intercom button again, "Send message to Capt. Jugger... respond to Taurian delegation and inform them we accept their proposal, and invite them to join you in returning to New Avalon immediately to work out the details and necessary paperwork. Cease all hostilities on Taurian border at once and request comstar generate shared access keys for charge stations.. Over"..  "Did you get that Sergeant ?".  "Yes sir, already on it's way."

He sat back and looked out the viewport.. lets see if allowing them to solely focus on Liao turns the tide of the front there. Should be interesting.

BattleTech/Mechwarrior Role-Play / The Pirate's Haven Treaties
« Last post by Igor Kozyrev on November 11, 2017, 07:59:30 AM »
November 11th, 3062
The Pirate's Haven stellar cluster - Lorkdal’s Nadir point

Colonel John Smith was facing the greatest test of his life. Marchall Kithrong’s orders were to face the oldest enemy of Taurian Concordat and… make peace with them. Captain’s bridge was offering a great veiw on the invader jumpship with an emblem of a sword on a background of yellow sun. If anyone told him a year ago, he would be standing face to face with davion officers, he would’ve laughed in their faces.

Indicator started blinking telling that radio transmission was ready to start. Smith took a deep breath and pressed the button, starting the communication session with FedSuns’ invader:

— For centuries Taurian Concordat was your unwearying enemy, I’m not going to try hiding it with usual diplomatic courtesies. Truth to be told, there is no such man back at my home that would hate you as much as I. But as an officer I understand what is best for my nation. More than two months ago marshall Cham Kithrong ordered to cease all hostile actions against Federated Suns, and we never broke this order. Now, when we face common enemy, it is time for the next step. Taurian Concordat proposes you to:
  • officially cease all hostilities and sign peace and non aggression pact
  • restore diplomatic relations and open diplomatic and economic missions on both terriotories of Taurian Concordat and Federated Suns
  • open free passage and access to charge stations on both terriotories of Taurian Concordat and Federated Suns
  • allow free trade and resupply for jumpships on both terriotories of Taurian Concordat and Federated Suns. Military equipment excluded
Taurian Concordat leadership hopes that this treaty will prove itself fruitful and we hope for further growth in relations between our two great nations.
Conspiracy theories cropping up all over the owa say they crash landed on a strange planet, inhabited by strange, technologically bankrupt bird/man species called the tetatae, whom they are busy subjucating.
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